


Rifts

by orphan_account



Series: Identity [3]
Category: NSYNC
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-10
Updated: 2010-03-10
Packaged: 2017-10-07 20:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/69090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Justin likes uncertainty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rifts

**Author's Note:**

> Completed set of unrelated stories based on themes of duality and identity.

That he is divided is no surprise. The fact that he has so many divisions is always startling.

There's Justin in public as the musician. He feels the strain of that role on his lips and in his mouth. Glittery, reflexive grins, full of white gleaming teeth stretching from cheek to cheek. Pop _didn't do as well as_ Bye Bye Bye _as lead-off single. How do you feel about that?_ He feels the smile slide across his face like a guillotine blade descending, even as he defends his artistic choices vigorously. He feels a door close every time each and every time he does.

_How are things with you and Britney? What about those rumours about that accident?_ He didn't mind his boyfriend role as much. It was easy to smile a bit bashfully, tip toe around his virginity and Britney's, and say I love her sincerely because he did mean it. Pretending isn't necessary when it's the truth, he has realized. It doesn't stop it from being infuriating though, when he sees the eyes roll when he says he's a virgin. There are times when he wishes he could just hold a press conference which would be a big fuck you to the scavengers, the fame whores, the fame addicts, the disbelievers. Say just one statement, and then leave. Just because all of you think I'm lying doesn't mean I am.

However, Justin also knows he's a manipulator, and knows the scenario he dreams of won't come to pass. In the grand scale of things *NSYNC, that would be such a colossal mistake. When he first started, he knew how to deal with the media almost instinctively, but he lacked finesse. Now he has mastered the steps. _Is there a competition between you and JC with the songwriting these days?_ He knows this dance now, and has an enviable repertoire. The delegation of praise, the deflection of blame, the coy evasion, the subtle implication, the in-your-face defense. He uses them confidently. He uses them well. He can even use them in song.

Then, there's his oldest and most effective tactic. Not just to be a sexy, boyish man, but a Sex-Ay Muthafucka. He swaggers, he thrusts, he scrunches his eyes and pouts his lips when he sings, he dresses in tight clothes and he flexes his muscles. The walking, talking sex on a wife beater clad stick, both beautifully innocent and knowingly sexual at the same time. _What is sexy to you? Tons of girls are dying to know!_ Nothing deflected close scrutiny quite like it.

And when he's away from the public? He's never quite sure.

He hopes he's a good boyfriend to Britney. He calls her a lot and leaves messages on her cell phone, long detailed ones. He always ends it with I love you, and more often than not means it completely. He makes sure he makes the time they have together count since they so rarely see each other. He always brings a dozen red roses. He talks about his feelings even though he finds it excruciating sometimes, but he's always made at peace by her smile, and the way she flicks his nose when she thinks he's being obnoxious.

With the guys, he hopes he's a good friend. He buys Joey Superman paraphernalia that Joey often ends up having anyway, and they play with both when they get the chance. He makes it a point to beat Chris in _Tekken Tag Tournament_, and to gloat about it obnoxiously because Chris won't have it any other way. He goes to Lance when he needs business advice, because Lance is keenly aware of life after *NSYNC, and because he knew Lance got a thrill out of being considered the businessman. He talks to JC about songwriting and listens to JC's Bjork records even though he can't stand hearing the sound of her voice, but he knows JC has tremendous respect for her so he listens.

He's never quite sure, but he loves the uncertainty. He finds it suits him best.


End file.
